Shattered Innocence
by Ailee
Summary: Returning to her 7th year at Hogwarts, Hermione is tortured by her past, and can no longer seem to feel. Her friends can't seem to reach her, and she may find soliace in some unexpected ways. A very dark fic dealing with abuse, rape, murder, sex, and grap


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the poetry in this chapter. Credit all goes to JoAnna Martin. Neither do I own any characters from Harry Potter.  
  
**Shattered Innocence**

_Goodbye cruel world, I lost my way.  
I hope one day to find it.  
But if I fade and turn to dust  
I don't think I will mind it.  
Scatter my ashes  
from the edge of the shore.  
I shall feel nothing  
forever more.  
If that's my destiny,  
then so shall it be.  
I won't let this world  
try and alter me.  
Even with my eyes open  
I cannot see the light.  
My hands are in fists  
but I cannot fight.  
Pain is the only thing  
right now that I feel.  
Love, happiness, pleasure-  
none of them real.  
I can't keep pretending  
that I am content  
when all I am filled with  
is pure resentment.  
Lost in thought, I call upon  
yesterdays tears.  
Suddenly, everything seems  
perfectly clear.  
When no longer living,  
at last, I'll be at peace.  
All my pain and all my sadness  
will finally have ceased.  
No longer will I be succumbed here  
to wallow in my sorrows.  
I won't be afraid of the future to come.  
There will be no tomorrows.  
  
JoAnna Martin's 'No Tomorrows'_  
  
Prologue  
  
Gently, cool waves of foamy bluish green lapped around the bare feet of a lone girl sitting by the edge of the calm ocean; a large trunk lying dormant a few feet away from the edge of the water. Her golden brown curls were sent fluttering with each gust of wind, dancing softly around her face and shoulders as she stoically stared out at the horizon point in the clear blue sky.  
  
Tucking her arms underneath her knees while resting her chin on them, she allowed a deep sad sigh to emit from her rose petal lips. Soulful amber eyes completely void of what was once a vivacious love for life, now barely hinted at her inner turmoil, well actually barely hinted at anything. Anyone who took the time to look into her eyes would find literally nothing. Those eyes now held a glazed look that proved her mind was not on  
what was in front of her.  
  
A particularly strong ocean breeze stretched towards her and seemed to twist around her body, causing sand to whirl around her in a wild dance, her cotton skirt and sleeves pulled and twisted, her hair wildly fanning out around her body and lifting from her shoulder to dance above her head.  
  
Closing her eyes, one lonely tear slipping down her tanned cheek, she titled her head up while climbing to her feet, revealing in the feel of the breeze caressing her body and forming a whirlwind around her.  
  
Releasing her emotions and feelings, she simply allowed her body to do what ever it wanted to do, her mind shutting down, letting pure instinct take over.  
  
Swaying with whatever way the wind felt like pulling her slack body, she started to dance with the wind, twisting and turning, dipping and stretching, her arms weaving patterns around her while her dress and hair joined along creating an ethereal picture for prospective passersby.  
  
The beauty of the moment however went unfortunately unnoticed, as the girl dancing with the wind in the lapping waves on the vast beach was completely and utterly alone.Five hours previously  
  
'Three more days until the train leaves for Hogwarts...' Hermione thought to herself as she glanced towards the calendar hanging on her bedroom door. 'Damn.'  
  
With a resigned sigh, she sent a cursory glance around her bedroom, noting blandly the bare hardwood floor, small day-bed, and her Hogwarts trunk. Nothing else resided in her room, the walls completely bare and white, and no furniture other than her bed. Her trunk had been packed weeks ago, leaving her with nothing to do.  


  
_There once was a time  
when I used to dream,  
until I found out the granted ones  
are not always what they seem._  


Resolutely grabbing her wand from the top of her trunk, Hermione lazily flicked it at the heavy item while muttering a levitating charm, and set off down the dark hallway to the empty living room. Setting her trunk by the front door, she began to wander around the eerily quiet Granger summer home, vacant eyes taking in the slight details; broken picture frames hanging on the wall, the glass fractured and scattered randomly on the carpeted floor. Dried bloodstains on the cream colored walls and empty stone fireplace, spread on the beige carpet in streaks and puddles. Shredded couch and recliner, shattered TV screen and glass table completing the overall look of the lounge.  
  
Apparently unfazed by the sight Hermione gingerly made her way towards the  
kitchen, stepping over puddles of hardened blood and shards of glass. Entering the sunlit kitchen, she lightly stepped over the decaying corpse of her mother and opened the fridge surveying the contents inside. Another soft sigh escaped her rosy slightly pouting lips as she realized there was nothing in there other than a bottle of water.  
  
Grabbing the water, Hermione gently closed the door, ceasing the comforting coolness that emitted from the door, and once again stepped lightly over what was once her mother, never even glancing at the bloodied body, and walked towards her fathers study.  


  
_Hide my heart.  
Trap my soul.  
Don't let my mind  
have control.  
Free me from darkness.  
Free me from me_  


Gracefully stepping down the slight drop that lead into the dark mahogany study, Hermione surveyed the shadowed room before walking over to the large window and drawing the dark velvet curtains apart. The sunlight flooded the destroyed room, dust particles dancing in the light beams having been stirred by Hermione's steps to the window. Walking to the book lined walls; she slowly trailed her long slender fingers across the spines, sometimes stopping to read a few of the titles. Once she reached the large mahogany desk placed in the middle of the gap between the bookcases in the middle of the room, she bent over slightly to glance around the desk to the space behind it. A grayish yellow hand came into her eyes view and she straightened once again and walked to where the hand resided.  
  
Looking down her vacant eyes sparked faintly with vengeance filled malice before disappearing quickly to become a vacant void once more. Silently she contemplated the mutilated decaying corpse of her father. His head hung off his neck at a 90° angle, nearly severed. Yellowed eyes stared at the dark wooden ceiling unseeing, his mouth still open in pain filled terror. Slash marks covered his body, his entrails spilled out and around him on the ground from a large gaping hole in his abdomen. His castrated penis still grasped in his left hand, his severed right hand resting above his head.  
  
A ghost of a smirk crossed Hermione's blank features, then banished away, as she resolutely walked over his body, being sure to grind her heels into his corpse with every step, and then continued to trail her fingers across the books on the other side of the study before heading back to the front door.  
  
Levitating her trunk once again, Hermione silently left her summer home for the last time. Walking down the stone path towards the beach, she rested her trunk, and then turned to glare at her former home. Pure hatred filled her eyes, though her face remained completely apathetic, and defiantly pointed her wand at the large wooden structure housing the bodies of her parents and memories of torment, torture, and fear from summers past and present.  
  
A sudden noise began to rise from her throat till she could no longer hold in a loud, tormented shriek as she set fire to the building standing on the hill. Tears coursed down her agony filled face, the scream still tearing itself roughly from her throat relishing in the sudden release of bottled emotions. After a few minutes, Hermione's throat gave out from the harsh, relentless treatment and she collapsed in a heap on the cobblestone pathway.  


  
_Save me from darkness.  
Save me from me.  
Fill my heart with decency  
for mine is empty._  



End file.
